


You, Me, & Him

by Sereko



Category: Glee
Genre: Angst, Friendly to both ships, M/M, Talking fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-02
Updated: 2013-09-02
Packaged: 2017-12-25 08:50:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,907
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/951117
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sereko/pseuds/Sereko
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A talking fic in three parts about Klaine's break-up, hook-up and imagined reunion. (2 parts Klaine, 1 part Kadam)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Disparity

**Author's Note:**

> I needed to talk out my own feelings about the break-up in order to imagine how Klaine could ever reunite and this is what resulted. I happen to like Adam and Kadam and was honestly not sure going into this how things would resolve themselves by the third part. 
> 
> This first part is Klaine discussing Adam after their hook-up in "I Do," because Blaine was so damn eager and hopeful and far too pleased with himself and I am clearly more worried about the status of his relationship than he is.

"We really are just friends, aren’t we?" Blaine voice isn’t sad or even really resigned, just wavering on accepting and understanding.

"Yes," Kurt’s voice has more weight to it than it’s had all day.

Blaine doesn’t turn to face him, only continues playing with the hem of the rumpled sheets and staring up at the popcorn ceiling.

"It felt different."

”It did?” Kurt is surprised to hear this and raises up on one elbow to observe Blaine’s countenance. Blaine’s eyes flick quickly to his before returning to the ceiling.

"You were more… free?" The center of Blaine’s forehead crinkles in uncertainty. "You let yourself go more, like you didn’t have to hold back, like you weren’t worried about what I’d think." Blaine’s hand twirls in the air as he tries to get his point across.

Kurt thinks about it, remembers his abandon and nods at Blaine’s analysis. It’s true. He wasn’t worried about being too much or not enough. He did what he wanted to do for himself.

Blaine finally rolls his head to the side. His eyes are surprisingly soft and Kurt sinks down closer to see the golden flecks glow in the room’s lamplight. Blaine’s mouth parts a fraction of an inch as if he’s about to say more, but he closes it and runs a knuckle under Kurt’s right eye instead.

"What’s his name?"

Kurt jerks at the question. He’d wrapped himself up in the warmth of the moment with Blaine that he’d momentarily forgotten about the rest of his life. “I- I don’t-“

"You said earlier you were sort of seeing someone and Brittany told me last week that she’d heard you were dating again. If it’s too much- too awkward, we don’t have to talk about it." Blaine rolls his head and his eyes back to the ceiling. His nail scratches the stitching on the edge of the comforter.

Kurt drops down from his elbow slowly so he’s resting on his back again in a mirror of Blaine’s position. He lays one hand over his forehead to guard his thoughts.

"No, it’s okay. It’s uh- his name is Adam." Kurt takes a breath and let’s the rest out with his exhale. "He goes to NYADA, leads the glee club there. I joined to make some new friends and they… _he_ makes me happy. We’ve only gone on a few dates, we’re not exclusive yet. God, I don’t even- I’ve never done this before. I’ve never had to have _that talk_ with a guy before. You and I were just - _bam!_ \- together. We never had to define it; it was obvious there was no one else. But Adam is so- he’s so… worldly. He has a British accent and wears these beanies that would look ridiculous on anyone but him with the way his hair spikes and these stretchy t-shirts, oh god- and his smile. Oh Blaine, his _smile_ -“ 

Kurt slaps a hand over his mouth. Fuck, he’d run away from the point. He’d forgotten that he and Blaine aren’t like that anymore. They can’t talk about anything and everything anymore, especially not other boys.

Blaine’s eyes are closed and his hands are relaxed at his sides, so Kurt can’t gauge his emotional state except to worry about the tightness in his chest and the imperceptible breaths he’s taking.

"I’m happy for you, Kurt," he squeezes out through a thick throat. Kurt watches a tear sneak past his closed lids and slip down the side of his face. Kurt lays back down on the bed and picks up counting the blobs of popcorn where Blaine left off. His hand tentatively reaches down to cover Blaine’s where it’s resting between their bodies.

"I’m sorry."

"No. No. I screwed up. I should know better, I shouldn’t have assumed. He’s what you need right now, Kurt, that much is very clear from how you talk about him." Blaine squeezes their hands before rolling over and opening his eyes. He doesn’t touch Kurt’s cheek this time. His eyes are no longer warm, just wet. But he smiles, a bit unsurely and a lot bravely, and holds Kurt’s hand a little tighter.

"I can wait. I will wait."

"Blaine-"

"No, please. Just give me this. Let me wait, for now, even if you tell me later I should stop."

Kurt presses his lips together. “Okay.”

"Okay."


	2. Exclusivity

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is essentially the Kadam side of the discussion from part one (about the Klaine hook-up in "I Do").
> 
> Additionally: I realize I jump from present tense (in Part 1) to past tense (in this part and the next). I have no excuse for it, other than the fact that I wrote these at separate times on tumblr and didn't pay close enough attention. Apologies for the shift!

"Rachel said Brody knew she’d hooked up with Finn just because of how she kissed him," Kurt laughed, though it wasn’t as loud or earnest as a real laugh.

Adam looked at him critically from his spot on the couch. He didn’t stop the smooth glide of his hands up and down Kurt’s calves from where they were bent over his lap and watched as Kurt’s eyes flickered anywhere but back at him, straying to the TV that was stuck on re-runs of “I Love Lucy.”

"Is this your not-so-subtle way of telling me that you also hooked up with your ex while you were home?" Adam quirked a brow when Kurt didn’t look shocked so much as ashamed. "You kiss differently too, you know."

”I do not,” Kurt insisted while sitting up straighter, his legs flattening over Adam’s thighs.

Adam’s hand rested on Kurt’s right ankle. Kurt wasn’t sure if it was to hold him in place or to soothe. Maybe both. He watched with no small amount of trepidation as Adam took a deep breath and turned more fully towards him.

"Today you kissed me like you forgot how. Like it was the first time all over again… because you’d just come back from kissing someone familiar and we haven’t been together long enough for you to fall back into something easy and known with me."

Kurt tried not to seem surprised by how accurate Adam’s analysis was. “I- well, yes, I- god, I’m such an ass,” he berated himself, then shifted to fold his legs under himself and rest an elbow on the back of the couch. “Blaine was at the wedding. We- uh, we _reconnected_.” Kurt winced.

"I see."

"But it didn’t mean anything!" Kurt reached out quickly with one hand, not quite landing it on Adam’s shoulder but still getting his urgency across. "We’re just friends. I made it very clear to him we’re just friends."

"Is that how he sees it?"

"Yes, of course. I told him that’s all it was. A random hook-up. I- I didn’t realize how hard it would be to resist, but you and I, we’ve-"

"We’ve only been on three dates and haven’t talked about being exclusive. It’s okay." And Adam clearly meant that. His tone was reassuring, his hand warm where it rested over Kurt’s, his gaze caring.

Kurt interlaced their fingers in gratitude and brought Adam’s to his mouth for a brief kiss.

"I’m still sorry. I like you. I like what we’ve started. I don’t want to end this over one night of weakness with my ex."

Adam smiled softly. “I like you too. And this doesn’t have to end, but I think you need to admit it wasn’t just a moment of weakness.”

"Of course it was." The corners of Kurt’s mouth tipped down. His mind was sure even if his heart wasn’t. "I haven’t forgiven him. I’m not over what happened."

"But you still love him."

Kurt eyes flew up to meet Adam’s, almost angered. “I-I, no, that’s not- I don’t.” The denial wasn’t because Kurt hadn’t admitted as much to himself but because he wasn’t prepared to admit it to his new beau.

"You do. Him screwing up doesn’t mean your feelings disappear. It means it’s even harder to carry them with you every day when you hear your song on the radio or see his sweatshirt in your closet. There’s nothing wrong with still being in love with him, Kurt. It’s perfectly understandable."

"Then how can I be with you?"

"Excuse me?"

"How can I be interested in you, want to be with you, think of kissing you and waking up next to you, if I’m still in love with Blaine?"

"Because his mistake and the time you’ve spent apart opened your heart up again, Kurt. You’ve allowed yourself to explore, to see what’s out there. But opening up your heart doesn’t always change who it belongs to."

"No," Kurt was vehement now. His eyes glistened with frustrated tears. "No. He can’t have it."

Adam let go of Kurt’s hand so Kurt could fist it in anger. He waited a moment, knowing now was not the time to bring Kurt into his arms, but also knowing that time wouldn’t be too far away. They sat in relative silence while Adam patiently waited for Kurt to figure things out for himself.

"I want to be with you," Kurt decided.

Adam smiled, turning away from Lucy’s shenanigans. “I’m glad. I want to be with you too.”

Adam moved closer to finally take Kurt in his arms, wrapping one around Kurt’s back to draw him in.

"Even if I’m still hung up on my ex?"

"Even then. Because eventually, after enough time, your heart will heal and you’ll decide for sure if you really are done with him or if you’d rather stay with me… and I’m happy to be by your side in the meantime."

Kurt leaned in for a barely-there kiss, then laid his head down on Adam’s broad shoulder.

"Thank you."


	3. Clarity

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I spent a long time waiting to write this, expecting at some point in S4 to get to where I could resolve Klaine’s reunion. I hoped we would get more canon dialogue to work off of, but without more conversation between Kurt and Blaine or any further scenes of Kurt and Adam, I was left floundering by the finale to see a light at the end of the tunnel. At the start of this part, I still couldn’t quite see one, so this became me just giving our boys a chance to talk and letting them lead me to an organic conclusion.
> 
> This takes place after the S4 finale.

Kurt didn’t think that anyone - not Santana, nor Rachel, nor his dad - realized that it wasn’t an issue of loving Blaine. Proving that Kurt still loved his ex-boyfriend did not magically fix all their problems or mean they should get back together.

The truth was, Kurt never fell out of love with Blaine, and he - and sadly Adam - knew that better than anyone.

But.

Blaine had cheated on him. That was a vicious kick in the gut for Kurt, who thought he had been in a committed, faithful relationship. And acknowledging that Blaine still owned a piece of his heart didn’t wipe the slate clean of all the pain he’d suffered through after that revelation.

The true issue was that Kurt needed to find a way to forgive Blaine for what he did. To find a way to trust him again. Which was why he had agreed to talk to Blaine the day after Regionals.

”So, what did you want to talk about?” Kurt started, playing dumb. They were at the Hummels’ house, conveniently alone, sitting awkwardly far from each other on the couch in the living room. Kurt tried his best not to think too hard about the fact that the last time they were on this couch together, they were making out.

"Well, I- uh-" Blaine looked startled. His hand went to his pocket nervously patting something. Kurt hoped more than anything it wasn’t the ring box he’d seen in Blaine’s hand when he’d hugged Mr. Schue after his spontaneous wedding.

Neither of them were ready for that. Blaine _had_ to know that.

"What’s changed?" Kurt decided to start anyway. The tightness in his chest couldn’t last through small talk.

"What do you mean?"

"Has anything changed between the last time you tried to convince me we should get back together and now?"

Blaine’s mouth snapped shut and his eyes fluttered away.

Kurt immediately felt like a jerk and stood up. He wrung his hands together as he paced to the sliding glass doors and back. “I’m sorry,” he heaved out earnestly. He took one look at Blaine’s bowed head before turning away again and smacking his thigh with a fist.

"I don’t know how to do this, Kurt," Blaine said quietly to the floor. “I- I can’t stop trying. I love you. I don’t know how to turn that off."

"You have to _try_ , to move on. I did.”

Blaine looked up then. He wanted to ask about Adam, but he knew the only reason he would was because he was hoping to hear that things weren’t going well. He placed his elbows back on his knees and rested his head sideways on his interlocked hands so he could watch Kurt in the light from the fading sun. He was breathtaking, even now.

"I have tried," Blaine finally admitted, thinking of Sam. “It’s not the same. It’s never the same."

"But we’re not the same anymore either," Kurt said while turning to face him, leaning his head back against unforgiving glass. “What you did changed us. We can never go back to what we were."

"I know that," Blaine sighed. “But can’t we become something new?"

"A second chance?"

The notion seemed fanciful to Kurt. His eyes darted to the world beyond the trees of his father’s backyard. “I’m with Adam now. He’s a great guy, Blaine. Sweet, patient, honest. And his smile-“

"Can light up a room, I remember."

Ok. So, they’d start there. Kurt braved a look into honeyed brown and they shared a silent, tentative moment.

"I have no reason to leave him." Kurt’s arms came up to cross across his chest, unconsciously defensive. His expression hardened as if getting ready for battle. He refused to react when Blaine flinched from his words.

"I…" Blaine’s mouth floundered to complete his thought, but no words were forthcoming. He dropped his hands and straightened up, bolstering himself despite his lack of an iron-clad defense. “I think you do."

"He makes me happy, Blaine." Kurt didn’t say it to be cruel, just to try and explain where he was coming from. He wasn’t wallowing in his room with Ben & Jerry’s and _Moulin Rouge_ anymore. He was holding hands in restaurants with _Downton Abbey_.

"I’m glad, you know I am, and you know that I said I’d wait for you- for-"

"For what? Like I said before, _what’s changed_?”

Blaine stood then, strong and sure, the meekness of his beginning flaking away in light of his pure, undying love for Kurt. Kurt fell back on his heels, suddenly worried of what was to come.

"Do you forgive me?" Blaine opened like a shot.

"Yes." It was true, even more-so now than when he’d first admitted it.

"Do you still love me?"

"Yes, but that’s not the issue." Kurt rolled his eyes, exasperated, flinging a hand out dismissively.

"How is it not? If you love me and I love you, that’s all that matters."

"I don’t _trust_ you!” Kurt exploded.

"Y-you don’t trust me?" Blaine’s voice was wounded. He hadn’t expected that. His brave front faltered, his knees wobbling.

"With my life, with my _father’s_ life, yes. But not with my heart. Not anymore.” And then Blaine realized what Kurt had been trying to drill into everyone’s heads who were continually attempting to get him and Blaine back together: Love was never the problem.

"I need to know why. I need to understand why you did it, so I can maybe start to figure out- I don’t know! See the signs or something so I could stop it from happening again." Kurt’s eyes blazed at him, not just anger but desperation. It wasn’t that he didn’t want things to work out, it was that he couldn’t see how they could. “I need some kind of reassurance that it won’t happen again."

Blaine approached him. His steps were slow, but sure. He ached to take Kurt’s hand, but resisted the impulse by dancing his fingers against his own palm.

"I know… I realize me saying that I’ll never do- _that_ again isn’t enough, but I don’t know what else to say to convince you. It was the worst mistake of my life, Kurt.” Kurt could see the truth of that in the depth of his gaze, the curl of his shoulders, the toeing of his shoes.

"But why?"

"I…" Blaine sighed, dropping down onto the edge of the couch. Kurt had asked him that question before, but Blaine always deflected saying no reason could excuse what he’d done. “I was lonely. I was in your town at your school taking your classes with your friends-" Blaine shook his head and held a hand out when Kurt tried to interrupt, "-no, I know, I got close with some of them when you were still around, but it wasn’t the same when you left. Nothing was the same." He sighed again, rubbing his forehead tiredly, dredging up memories of a time he’d rather forget.

"I don’t bla- well, no, that’s a lie. I did blame you for being so distant. I felt left-out and unimportant every time you cut our calls short or didn’t even pick up them up in the first place. And then I felt stupid- of course you wouldn’t pick up, you were starting a great new phase of your life with amazing opportunities and people who finally acknowledged your talent, and I was just your silly high school boyfriend."

Kurt watched the rain cloud form over Blaine’s head as he imagined it had earlier that year. Every part of his countenance shrunk in on itself, protective and isolated. Kurt bit his lip in unexpected sympathy.

"Trying to improve myself for you, to be better and less clingy and more involved at McKinley… it was all hollow without you there to share it with. And then I just became desperate for _anyone_ to share it with. Anyone who would listen. And I…” His voice trailed off beneath rising tears. He pressed his lips hard into his knuckles.

"You slept with someone else." Kurt couldn’t let those words hover unsaid, he needed them to pound into both their heads and hearts. It was a thing that happened. They both needed to acknowledge it.

"Yes," Blaine choked. “And I felt dirty and vile and stupid, so very very stupid afterward. I felt like the worst person on Earth for destroying what we had because I was too needy."

Kurt opened and closed his mouth before deciding to sit on the coffee table in front of Blaine. He traced the curve of his gelled hair with his eyes, faintly recollecting what it felt like to touch. Then, he followed Blaine gaze down and stared at their legs parted only a few inches. Tight pants and bouncing knees.

"It _was_ stupid,” Kurt said after a time. “But I- I know it couldn’t have been easy dealing with me away. I know I wasn’t as in contact as we both wanted- both agreed on. I just- it’s… it was hard, juggling all that, and I felt a little greedy. I wanted to focus on myself for a while,” he whispered the last, almost unwilling to admit it.

"I don’t," Kurt licked his lips uncertainly, “I don’t know how we move on from this. I can’t promise that I won’t ever be a little selfish- I can work on it, I can try, but I can’t go around afraid that any day I’m home late from work or if I decide to go out with friends instead of out to dinner with you or if- I don’t know, if another opportunity comes up that would mean less time for the two of us… I will be looking over my should the entire time worrying that you’ll stray."

Blaine’s eyes were wide, horrified.

"No! Oh my god, Kurt, no! That’s not- I didn’t mean.. the beginning of this year was a low time. I know I can’t promise that I won’t ever get low like that again, but I can promise that I will tell you when I’m feeling like that, so you know, so I don’t turn to someone else. God, I would never do that again."

Kurt sprang up again. “But you don’t know that! I don’t know that! We could both do the exact same thing and then we’re right back here.”

Blaine followed him, reaching out this time, grasping hands between them and demanding eye contact.

"Of course there’s no guarantee. I can say I won’t cheat on you until I’m blue in the face, but that will never reassure you enough. I know that. I know _you_ enough to know that. I just have to hope that one day you’ll decide I’m worth the risk again.”

He pushed forward, so Kurt was forced to bend towards him. Their foreheads touched. Kurt clenched his jaw to keep his mouth from wobbling.

"I want to be with you. I never wanted to not be with you." Which was the truest statement Kurt had shared with him in months.

"I want to be with you too," Blaine sighed in the small space between them.

Kurt stayed in place, just breathing with him, calming himself down and trying to look at the entire situation past the bitter anger and pain that had been his constant companion for so long. He either was going to give Blaine another chance or he wasn’t, but he had to stop stringing Blaine - _both of them_ \- along.

It took a while for the decision to be made. Or, at least, the first step towards a decision.

"He doesn’t smile the way you do. His smile is bright and big and unafraid and it lights up the world to see it, but yours- you…" Kurt’s eyes softened for a moment as he pulled his head back to gaze upon his first love. “Blaine, your smile is for _me_. It’s quiet and simple, but it comes from within you, and it’s one of the many ways you say ‘I love you’ without using words. You have a stage smile and a friendly smile, but there’s one you have just for me and it was one of my most prized possessions for a long time.”

Blaine had the same look on his face he had so long ago on a different stage with a different worry - _I’m so proud to be with you - I want you to be._

"I can’t imagine a world without that." Kurt brought a tentative hand up to Blaine’s cheek, giving him a moment to lean into the touch. “I can’t imagine a world without you. I- I may need a little while longer to- to ah- be ready, I guess. Can we start slow?"

Blaine’s eyes were wet, his lips trembling. “Of course. Whatever you want.”

"No, I want this to be how we both want it. We have to figure out how to compromise better. We have to _talk_. I can’t take this risk without us both working on how to fix what went wrong last time.”

Blaine nodded, the motion spilling two tears down his cheeks. He was smiling though and huffing out a disbelieving laugh. He looked back up at Kurt stronger, more focused, more himself than he’d been since Kurt first stepped on that plane to New York.

"Thank you, for taking another chance on me. I was so worried I’d have to come to terms with a life without you and that just- it didn’t feel right. I love you. I think I’ll always love you, no matter what." He bravely leaned forward and Kurt let him place a chaste kiss to his lips.

"I love you, too." It came out on a sigh after a deep, long, cleansing breath. It was the first time since their break-up that Kurt felt he truly meant those words and wasn’t just using them as an empty, expected response.

They were a new beginning and an old memory wrapped up in one, with so much promise for the future.


End file.
